There’s an enormous amount of stress that comes with Halloween. For supremely non-creative people who are ambivalent towards Halloween, such as myself, there’s always a mad dash in the dying hours to find a suitable Halloween costume. And, by suitable, I mean that it must be a costume that:
a. Makes people visibly uncomfortable
b. Is a slutty man-something (see: slutty man-hippopotamus)
c. Is suitable for wooing Meghan McCain (or girls like Meghan McCain... actually, who am I kidding; I actually just mean Meghan McCain)
And, of course, these must, somehow, stand in contrast to standard costumes (and, I don’t mean standard as in a bedsheet with eyeholes, because those costumes are called timeless), which include:
a. One’s favourite, semi-obscure rock n’ roll personality (read: a costume that no one will understand – options include Jeff Tweedy or a member of Badfinger)
b. The personification of a common idiom (which always requires an explanation, and is never, ever clever)
c. A man going as a horrifying woman (which some might assume is actually a commentary on gender performance, although I rarely see women partaking in this activity)
d. A white guy going as a black guy (which some might assume is actually a commentary on racism, but I never seem to see black guys masquerading as honkies)
But, ultimately, after an estimated three hours of intense drinking – no matter where you go – these costumes end up just falling to the wayside. Costume accoutrements once primped and coddled end up in jacket piles, stuffed underneath seats. Crappy makeup runs down faces, prompting their users to simply wash it off. As Halloween practitioners tire of posturing, jackets and hooded sweatshirts are used to eventually conceal costumes.
Halloween isn’t a day. It’s three hours.
Unless, of course, you’re Glenn Danzig – then Halloween is every day. Oh, how I wish I was Glenn Danzig.
Anyhow, for today’s edition of the Cancanon Fridays, I’m not going to make the effort to actually post Halloween-themed videos. Halloween’s filthy lustre will eventually wear off, and then we’ll be left off with a few videos that only makes sense for a couple of hours every year.
Spookey Ruben – These Days Are Old
Yes, you might say that, based on his artist handle, that Spookey Ruben is quasi-Halloween themed. But, the truth of the matter is, there is nothing 'spookey' (sic) about Spookey Ruben. In fact, 'These Days are Old' is one of the most defining, iconic moments in Canadian film; Ruben’s intial foray into film-making combines the Russian Montage techniques of Sergei Eistenstein, the non-linguistic chorus of James' ‘Laid,’ and a liberal dusting of beaver-tail icing. ‘These Days are Old’ is often referenced as the Canadian version of that backwards Enya video (and I’m not quite sure what this assertion means, but I do know that that Enya video featured giraffes mating and othehr such tantric bizzarities).
a. Makes people visibly uncomfortable
b. Is a slutty man-something (see: slutty man-hippopotamus)
c. Is suitable for wooing Meghan McCain (or girls like Meghan McCain... actually, who am I kidding; I actually just mean Meghan McCain)
And, of course, these must, somehow, stand in contrast to standard costumes (and, I don’t mean standard as in a bedsheet with eyeholes, because those costumes are called timeless), which include:
a. One’s favourite, semi-obscure rock n’ roll personality (read: a costume that no one will understand – options include Jeff Tweedy or a member of Badfinger)
b. The personification of a common idiom (which always requires an explanation, and is never, ever clever)
c. A man going as a horrifying woman (which some might assume is actually a commentary on gender performance, although I rarely see women partaking in this activity)
d. A white guy going as a black guy (which some might assume is actually a commentary on racism, but I never seem to see black guys masquerading as honkies)
But, ultimately, after an estimated three hours of intense drinking – no matter where you go – these costumes end up just falling to the wayside. Costume accoutrements once primped and coddled end up in jacket piles, stuffed underneath seats. Crappy makeup runs down faces, prompting their users to simply wash it off. As Halloween practitioners tire of posturing, jackets and hooded sweatshirts are used to eventually conceal costumes.
Halloween isn’t a day. It’s three hours.
Unless, of course, you’re Glenn Danzig – then Halloween is every day. Oh, how I wish I was Glenn Danzig.
Anyhow, for today’s edition of the Cancanon Fridays, I’m not going to make the effort to actually post Halloween-themed videos. Halloween’s filthy lustre will eventually wear off, and then we’ll be left off with a few videos that only makes sense for a couple of hours every year.
Spookey Ruben – These Days Are Old
Yes, you might say that, based on his artist handle, that Spookey Ruben is quasi-Halloween themed. But, the truth of the matter is, there is nothing 'spookey' (sic) about Spookey Ruben. In fact, 'These Days are Old' is one of the most defining, iconic moments in Canadian film; Ruben’s intial foray into film-making combines the Russian Montage techniques of Sergei Eistenstein, the non-linguistic chorus of James' ‘Laid,’ and a liberal dusting of beaver-tail icing. ‘These Days are Old’ is often referenced as the Canadian version of that backwards Enya video (and I’m not quite sure what this assertion means, but I do know that that Enya video featured giraffes mating and othehr such tantric bizzarities).
Unknown – Log Driver's Waltz
An entire generation of Canadians was force-fed this video in intermissions between Saturday morning cartoons. So, it’s no surprise that Canadians, from Victoria BC, to Mount Pearl, NL, equate their national identity with a fierce defiance against the Hudson’s Bay Company, sprinting down log-filled rivers, and marrying coniferous Catholic babes.
Sloan - The Good in Everyone
Although One Chord to the Next wasn't necessarily the best Sloan album, it was certainly the most successful. And while there might have been better Sloan videos to post, sometimes it's worthwhile to cater to a portion of their fanbase; and, 'the Good in Everyone' was probably many-a Sloan fan's introduction to the Chris Murphy and Co. And open question: what, exactly, is the function of the jittery intro / outro to this song?
Thrush Hermit – From the Back of the Film
Once, while I was watching the remake of George Romero's Dawn of the Dead (which I have a few problems with, but that's another conversation for another time), there was a couple who were having constant dialogue; not with each other, but with the movie's characters. And while it was entertaining for about a split-second, I just wish I could've told them to 'shut up / or Joel Plaskett will shoot you.'
The Deadly Snakes – Gore Veil
Now, while the Deadly Snakes aren’t necessarily a current band, as they’ve disbanded recently (read: 2006), they get still the nod as today’s contemporary pick (as they're close enough to being contemporary, and a completely amazing band). One-time Polaris nominees, I'm assuming the Snakes are paying quasi-tribute to the Eastern-most border of Trinity Bellwoods Park (mostly because the lyrics make little sense to me). Which, being a Bellwoods devotee, is fine by me.
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